oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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