I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize