Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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