There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We left an ass print on the piano.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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