was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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