can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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