Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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