the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize