the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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