Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize