perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
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Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
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you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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