I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it glows. i had to have it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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