Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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