every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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