sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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