I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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