this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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