Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Someone came in the potted fern
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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