just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize