No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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