So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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