In the future we'll all be gay
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize