I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize