if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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