batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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