Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
In America we eat man semen.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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