i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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