three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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