Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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