so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize