I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Mom said you looked used
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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