2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
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i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
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I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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