I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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