when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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