Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
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I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
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Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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