Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
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He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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