Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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