there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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