I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
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I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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