Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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