Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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