Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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