my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize