Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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