maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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