If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ttyl tear gas
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize