I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize