No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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