the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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