ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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